so you wrote this story?
Posted 02/22/09 - 01:48 pm
Broken Memories- chapter three up's Profile
Chapters
I was in a bed, with a needle in my arm. I slowly followed the long chord with my eyes widening as I went. There was a sack of blood hanging from a pole. I watched as the blood slowly crept down the long, thin tube. It was so red, such a burst of color in the boring room. The blood disappeared into my arm.
I willed myself to look away from the captivating process to look around the room some more. There was a large window. I couldn’t see anything though, because I was lying down. I tried to sit up, but couldn’t find the strength.
I heard a beeping. I turned to my left, and there was a big thing that looked like a television set. It had big, jolting lines going across it. I figured that it was one of those things that tracks your heart beat.
I turned to my right to watch the blood flow some more, even though it made me want to puke.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw something light pink. I looked straight ahead, and there was a single flower sticking out of a simple, light blue vase. It had a card, but I couldn’t see what was written on it from where I was. As I tried to turn to watch the blood red liquid flow into my vein, I saw something sticking out of my stomach. I screamed.
“What’s wrong?” A nurse ran in. “Oh my gosh! You’re awake! I think I’m supposed to tell the doctor or something!”
She turned to go get the doctor.
“Wait!” I called after her, my voice weak.
“Yes?”
“What,” I pointed to my stomach, “is that?”
“Your feeding tube. How else were we supposed to feed you?” Feed me? Why would they need to feed me? Isn’t a fourteen year old girl perfectly capable of feeding herself?
The doctor came in and started looking at the machines. The he did some evaluation or something of me. He mumbled some things to the nurse, and she quickly wrote them down. He walked around, looking me over.
“Well, I don’t think you’ll be needing this anymore.” He reached for the tube in my stomach like he was going to yank it out. I cringed. He laughed. “I’m just kidding. You’ll need it for a little bit longer, or at least until you’re completely stable.”
I smiled meekly. He must have been able to tell that I wasn’t pleased, because he left the room.
The nurse came over to me and smiled. She sat on the edge of the bed. I looked at her with a blank expression.
“Hi! I’m Caitlin.”
“Nice to meet you Caitlin. Are you my nurse?” I tried to put enthusiasm in my voice, but screaming really takes it out of you.
“Yes, but I’m not that good. I’m new, so I’m still learning the basics.” She shrugged and smiled again.
“Don’t you learn everything in college?” I thought that everything you needed to know was taught there. And if she didn’t know everything there is to know, then why was she my nurse.
“Oh, well I know all that stuff. I’m learning how to care for a coma patient.”
“Coma patient? Who’s your coma patient?” She gave me a puzzled look, and then I realized it. I was the coma patient. I woke up in the hospital because I was in a coma. They needed to feed me because you can’t eat when you’re half dead.
As I was about to ask the nurse why I was in a coma, two rushed people came into the room.
“Oh my, Orlena!” The woman came to me and started hugging me and kissing me all over. I pushed her away. She looked at her with a hurt face.
“Um, the doctor thinks she has a severe concussion. They wanna give her a CAT scan just to be sure. So don’t be surprised if she doesn’t recognize you, like she just did.” Caitlin slank her head down as she realized that that information was a little late.
“Oh, yes, right. Hello Orlena, I am your mother, and this is your father.” She smoothed her skirt and smiled. Then she went and put her hands on the man’s shoulders.
“Um, hi.” I said. I didn’t know what to say to these people that were supposedly my parents. They didn’t look like they would be my parents. But, then again, I didn’t know what I looked like.
The woman was average height, with fair skin. Her hair was a bright red and cut to just below her ears. It curled inward, fitting her face. The man, on the other hand, was taller than most. Well, I thought he was, because he was taller than he doctor. He had brown hair that was starting to recede.
“Orlena, do you remember us?” The man asked, with a deep voice.
“Um, no. But I’m guessing I’m Orlena?” I asked, confused. It was too much information to take in at one time. I just learned I was in a coma, and they start telling me that they’re my parents?
“Oh, she doesn’t even know her own name?” The woman, um, Mother, I guess I should call her, turned to the nurse.
“No, she didn’t even know that she was in a coma!” Caitlin got defensive. I watched as Mother and Father discussed me with Caitlin. She got off the edge of the bed to get my flip chart.
I looked between their bodies and saw the flower. The poor, lonely flower. No idea what was going on. Just sitting, waiting for someone to take care of it. I was that flower. I was no more than a little pink flower sitting in a vase in a hospital.
“Um,” I tried to get everyone’s attention.
“Yes Honey,” Mother immediately turned to me.
“What does that card say?” I pointed to the flower. Mother looked at it, then up at the nurse.
“I thought I told you to keep this away from her!” She screamed. She threw a fit over the flower. I don’t know why. It was a beautiful flower. Mother kept yelling at my nurse about the flower. I tuned her out, mesmerized and drawn to it like I had been to the blood earlier.
“Who is it from?!” I shouted. I didn’t realize that I had even spoken until they all looked at me.
“Um, honey, Orlena, that doesn’t matter. It’s just a flower.” Mother spoke again.
“Yes, but I want to know who gave me the flower.” I said, irritated.
“Um, it’s from your father and I.” She said like she was making it up.
“Then why don’t you want it in here?"
“Well, because they got our order wrong.” Father chimed in.
That was a good enough answer for me. I closed my eyes and went to sleep.
I woke up, and the doctor was examining my monitor.
“Hello Orlena. Have a nice sleep?” He asked me, not taking his eyes off the screen.
“Um, yes. I dreamed that I was in a big water slide. It was fun.” I told him. I didn’t want to tell him that the water slide was really my IV.
“That’s nice. Well, you seem to be doing fine, so I think we’ll take you to do your CAT scan now.” He started unhooking all of my tubes.
“Wait. Why are you unhooking my blood supply?” I asked. Was this doctor trying to kill me?
“We just had you hooked up to that to make sure your body was making enough blood while you were in your coma.” He told me flatly. I didn’t bother to ask any questions, because I knew I wouldn’t understand them.
He asked if I could get up, which I couldn’t. He left the room and came back with a wheel chair. He helped me into it, and took me down the hall, into a room with a giant machine in the middle. And that was it. A giant machine with a little hole.
The doctor helped me get onto a plastic, flat bed attached to the big machine. He walked out of the room. I looked around, but there was nothing to look at.
Slowly the bed started moving into the small hole. “What’s going on?” I asked, my voice high pitched from my nervousness.
“Calm down, Orlena. This is a CAT scan. You must go into the machine so it can take pictures of your head.” The doctor said. I could hear his voice all around me, but I didn’t know why because he wasn’t in the room. Perhaps there was a speaker he was talking through.
“Okay.” I said. As I my head went further into the machine, my breathing got heavier. The air was stuffy, and the small space was uncomfortable. I felt like I was going to puke. I tried to focus on something else, like the tube of blood in my dream. But that, too, made me want to puke.
“Please be as still as possible, Orlena.” The doctor’s voice came through the invisible speaker again.
“Sorry.” I mumbled. Still. Like the flower. That little pink flower. I thought about that flower for a long time. Until my thoughts were broken by the voice of the doctor.
“Okay, all done. I have to go examine these, so Caitlin will come help you out.”
I lied on that uncomfortable thing until she was there. Caitlin looked like she was mad. Her eyes were scrunched together, and her mouth was pursed into a tight line. And expression that I never would have believed I’d be seeing on Caitlin. She seemed like such a happy person.
“Are you okay?” I asked her. It sounded kind of airy though, because I was steadying my breathing from being in such a tiny place.
“Oh, yah, I’m just trying to figure out how to get you off without hurting either of us.” So she didn’t have a mad look, it was a puzzled look. She was an interesting person.
I sat and thought for a moment. I thought about sitting there, rotting away for the rest of my life on the giant machine. Or having a big scary nurse come and harshly pull me off the machine. Neither idea appealed to me. Actually, they both scared me. And because of that scare, I had a rush of adrenaline. I sat up. Caitlin looked at me, amazed. She moved the wheelchair closer, and helped me slide off the plastic bed and onto the chair. She smiled. “That wasn’t so hard.”
“Huh, yah.” I huffed. Just that little amount of work was tiring. I guess after not moving for, for however long I was “asleep” makes the littlest amount of effort tiring.
Caitlin brought me back to my room, where Mother and Father were waiting. She wheeled me over to the bed. And then she got that look again.
Father must have understood, because he picked me up and sat me up on the bed, with three pillows behind me to hold me up. He kissed my forehead, then walked back over to Mother.
Why did he kiss me? I could feel it burning on my fore head. I felt the desperate urge to run my hand across the spot, but knew that it would offend the parental figures. Well, not offend them, but hurt them. And I did not want to hurt these people. The people who were paying my hospital bills, carrying me from wheelchair to bed, kissing my forehead. I may not know them, but I do believe that they are my parents.
The doctor came in carrying a clip board. He flipped a few pages, then took out a pen. He wrote something, then put the clipboard down.
“Yes, well, Mr. and Mrs. Peterson, Orlena, I have some good news. The skull fracture is completely healed. “
Skull fracture? What skull fracture?
“But, unfortunately, Orlena has a mild concussion. She will not remember most things, but familiar faces, items, and places will help bring them back. For example, she may know that her birthday is,” He gestured towards me.
“Uh, February sixteenth.” I stumbled to get the words out.
“Exactly. But she doesn’t recognize you two. Being around her more and being active in her everyday life, along with any old regular routines will fix that. You see?”
“Yes. We understand perfectly. Thank you so much doctor. How much longer will she need to be here?” Mother asked, clinging tightly to Father’s arm.
“Well, she seems to be doing nicely, but let’s say at least two more weeks. That’s actually pretty soon, due to that fact that most coma patients are kept for long times. But it all depends on the patient and their progress. I would like to do more tests, and let her regain her strength.” The doctor flipped through his notes, as if trying to find a reason to keep me.
“Okay, thank you. Thank you.” As Mother thanked him, he walked out the door. Father turned to me, and reached inside his pocket. “Orlena, we have something for you.” He pulled out a small, silver necklace. He placed it in my hand. It was beautiful. I played with it, and discovered a small O charm.
“It was your favorite thing in the whole world.” Said Father.
“It’s beautiful. May I wear it?” I asked, still playing with it in my hands.
“Of course.” Mother walked over to the bed, and helped me put the necklace on, the whole time her eyes sparkling from tears. She stepped away and watched me fumble with the little O.
“Um,” I started.
“Yes?” They both responded at the same time.
“I was thinking, could you call me Orli, instead of Orlena. Orlena seems like such a strange name.” I said nervously, and watched their faces fall.
“You loved your name. It meant so much to you. It means ‘golden’.” Mother went on. Father put his hands on her shoulders.
He breathed heavily. “I know that this is difficult for you, and we want to make this as easy as possible. Of course we will call you Orli.”
I saw the grief in both of their faces. I wished I was the flower. No name, no family to disappoint. Perhaps not knowing and just waiting for care was better than, well, knowing. Then I remembered. Remembered part of my past.
I was in a classroom. A teacher walked around and stopped at the front of the room. She looked at all of us, then said, “Ignorance is bliss.”
And that was all I could remember.
One day, when I was feeling strong enough to get up and walk on my own, we went down to the game room. There were other kids there. I played with Amy for an hour, but then she had to go to “class.” Her nurse had organized a little time of the day to help Amy relearn things of her past. I asked Caitlin why I didn’t have this class. She merely told me that my concussion wasn’t bad enough. I thought it was pretty bad, since I couldn’t remember my life, but if she said it wasn’t bad enough, then I would believe her.
Once Amy left, Caitlin decided she was going to teach me a game. She taught me how to play “go fish.” It was a very simple game, yet very entertaining.
For for the rest of the days, we played “go fish.” But the day came when I was allowed to go home. The doctor said I didn’t need him nor Caitlin anymore, that the rest of my recovery was up to my parents.
I was escorted out of my room by Caitlin. She had tears in her eyes. I told her good-bye and turned to go. But I didn’t get very far. Caitlin grabbed my shoulders, turned me around, and gave me a big hug. I hugged her back. We had had a very interesting time together. When I let go, Caitlin pulled something out of her pocket.
“Here ya go, Orli.” She handed me a small box. I opened it, and inside was a little ring with an O on it.
It matched my necklace perfectly. “Thank you Caitlin.” I whispered softly. I slid the small ring onto my finger slowly. I hugged my friend again, the only friend that exists in my memory, turned, and left with my parents.
We walked out of the hospital, and Mother came to an abrupt stop. She told me to stop as well, for some unknown reason. I looked at her strangely for a moment, but before I knew what was going on, I heard a car coming behind me.
I screamed and jumped onto the side walk. Mother grabbed me and turned me around. Father was in the car, pulling up to the curb. I tried to fake a smile to hide my embarrassment. I thought that I was about to be put back into the hospital I had just escaped, when it was only Father coming to pick up Mother and me.
Mother stepped forward, opened each of our doors, and then got in. I climbed into the back seat.
The car wasn’t too big really. It was a small 300, with leather interior. I felt the smooth surface. It was hot, probably from sitting in the sun all day. I could feel the heat on my back, and it was starting to make me sweaty. Pretty soon my shirt would be sticking to me.
Mother turned around in her seat. She smiled at me, and then shook her head. “Orli, honey, aren’t you going to put on your seatbelt?”
“Oh, yeah.” I grimaced, and turned to put it on. But I was frozen in time. Something caught my eye, forcing me to stop what I had been doing.
On the seat belt was a stain. A red stain. A blood red stain. My eyes got big.
And I remembered something else.
I was in the car, my head hanging off to the left. Mother was screaming at Father to drive faster. I looked down and there was blood on the seatbelt. I felt my forehead, and it was dripping blood.
And that was what I remembered.
We were home in just a few long minutes. Mother escorted me into the house and sat me down at the kitchen table. She gave me some milk and cookies.
I looked at them, then back up at Mother.
“They’re your favorite. Chocolate chips with marshmallows and chopped nuts. You used to call it a rocky road cookie.” She smiled, as a tear ran down her round face.
I stared blankly at her for a moment, and then turned my oblivious stare to the cookies. I picked one up, and took a bite. They were fabulous.
I quickly ate all five cookies, and then gulped down the whole glass of milk. I knew why they had been my favorite.
Mother smiled at me. She laughed as I wiped the milk mustache off with my sleeve.
Once Mother was done telling me some of her favorite cookie stories, she told me to follow her. So I did.
We walked out of the kitchen, into the living room. As soon as we walked onto the soft white carpet, we took a left. We walked for a short distance down a dark hallway. Suddenly, darkly carpeted stairs appears at our feet. Mother walked straight up them, not saying a word the whole time.
I followed her slowly, making sure not to trip. I hadn’t quite conquered stairs yet. That was still on my to-do list.
Mother waited patiently for me at the top of the stairs. Once I was up, and had mentally checked off that chore I was previously speaking of, Mother started walking again. We turned right immediately, and walked for about six yards.
Then Mother disappeared into the wall. I stopped, and walked slowly towards where she had gone. I realized it was just a room in the middle of the hallway.
I walked in slowly. Mother stood in the middle, smiling at me gently. “Welcome to your bedroom, Orli.” She gestured to the large room with her arms spread wide.
I turned slowly, taking in the whole room. It was certainly livelier than my room at the hospital.
The walls were a pretty, light blue. There was a king size bed in the middle, with a light pink comforter. The bed had four large posts at each corner. On either side were end tables that matched the light wooden color of the bed.
On one was an electronic alarm clock, and on the other was a small lamp. In the far right corner, a few feet from the bed, was a shelf with two teddy bears on it. And to the right of that, on the wall farthest from me, was a large window, with green curtains.
On the wall to my immediate right was a wooden long dresser, and a desk. It had a yellow computer and a telephone.
To my left was a small vanity. I walked towards it as Mother pulled the curtains open, flooding the room with light.
I looked into the mirror. I saw myself.
I had dark brown hair like Father. My hair had nice beachy wave, down to my shoulders. My eyes were green, like Mother’s. They stood out against my skin. It was a nice, even shade of light tan. Not the kind that you would get at a beach, but I wasn’t Albino.
I liked how I looked.
Until I saw “It.” “It” was a scar.
There was a large, curved scar going across my forehead. I touched it.
The memory I had in the car came back. When my forehead was bleeding.
As I stared at my reflection in the mirror, I saw something in it. I turned around, and saw on my comforter something that looked familiar.
I walked over to it, and touched the pattern. It was little pink flowers. Like the flower in the hospital.
I lay down on the bed, thinking about the flower again. I liked the flower.
Q: Where did you find the name Orlena?
A: I love the website babynames.com. I knew I wanted an unusual name so she would change it, so i decided to go there. Originally she was going to be named either Miriam on Winnifred.
Q: Who am I?
A: My personal page is here.
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Comments
The IT Directory
Yes! It will be up within a few days, haha, i have a lot of stuff to review :D
Posted 08/02/08 - 12:07 am
Nam - Return vote on my NSL entry - leave comment
"~ I RETURN VOTE OF 10"
Posted 07/30/08 - 12:58 am
Tiffany- finished reading Last Christmas by Kate B
"on and off hiatus"
Oh, thats so cool! =) It must be so much easier to have an editor like that. lol. Yes, I'm pretty sure you'll have a real one soon. Its a great Chapter 3, by the way. =) Can't wait to read more.
Posted 07/29/08 - 04:49 pm
Tiffany- finished reading Last Christmas by Kate B
"on and off hiatus"
Um, I'm kinda confused. You can't really send one chapter to the editor. You send the finished manuscript that contains all the chapters. That way they can read it and determine if it is worth producing/publishing and if it will sell. What publisher did you send it to? Thats an interesting company if they only asked for your latest chapter. =)
Or did you mean you sent it to a friend to "edit" the 3rd chapter for you before you post it on the site?
Or did you mean you sent it to a friend to "edit" the 3rd chapter for you before you post it on the site?
Posted 07/29/08 - 02:52 am
Tiffany- finished reading Last Christmas by Kate B
"on and off hiatus"
Hey Meara,
I finished another cover! =) I probably will make one more before I stop. xD I don't want to flood you with too many pictures. But here is the second one.
Broken Memories Cover 2
The picture credit goes to cosmosue. =)
Anyways, keep on writing. Can't wait to read more. :]
-Tiffany
I finished another cover! =) I probably will make one more before I stop. xD I don't want to flood you with too many pictures. But here is the second one.
Broken Memories Cover 2
The picture credit goes to cosmosue. =)
Anyways, keep on writing. Can't wait to read more. :]
-Tiffany
Posted 07/23/08 - 01:27 am
Tiffany- finished reading Last Christmas by Kate B
"on and off hiatus"
Hello,
I have completed one cover so far. =) Its here.
Broken Memories Cover
I made the flower in color because I thought that represented vivid reality (and of vital importance, I think) where as Orli was in a sort of dreamworld because of her lack of memories. I hope you like it. =)
I'm also the model in this picture (taken a long time ago), which I hope you don't mind. I couldn't find a picture on my computer that I thought fit the cover very well so I just used one of my old photos. If you don't like it, just let me know. I'll search more online for pictures. =)
I'm working on more, so there will be others as well, but here is the first one.
Also, please credit me, if that's possible because I didn't add it to the cover. =) Thanks and good luck writing!
Regards,
Tiffany
I have completed one cover so far. =) Its here.
Broken Memories Cover
I made the flower in color because I thought that represented vivid reality (and of vital importance, I think) where as Orli was in a sort of dreamworld because of her lack of memories. I hope you like it. =)
I'm also the model in this picture (taken a long time ago), which I hope you don't mind. I couldn't find a picture on my computer that I thought fit the cover very well so I just used one of my old photos. If you don't like it, just let me know. I'll search more online for pictures. =)
I'm working on more, so there will be others as well, but here is the first one.
Also, please credit me, if that's possible because I didn't add it to the cover. =) Thanks and good luck writing!
Regards,
Tiffany
Posted 07/22/08 - 01:02 am
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