The threads of my throat shook, erupting with a booming cough that woke me from my delicate slumber. My eyes burst open, immediately tearing as smoke burned them, fogging my vision. I couldn’t breathe, suffocation coming over me, my heart was beating faster then I’d imagined it ever could. My hands trembled in response to my fighting body, pushing through the smoke to avoid the icy grip of death. I saw the bright light of fire explode into my room from beneath my door, my whole body quivering as my doom seemed imminent. Fear enveloped me as I realized the seriousness of the situation, drowning in my worries and sorrows of what might have been my last minute.

My parents. Where were my parents? Had they been murdered in the fire? Would I join them shortly after they made there way to heaven? Or would I go alone? There was no time for thoughts, the fire was devouring my floor, spreading towards me in frightening speed. My heart fought to keep working, beating fast, anxious to ensure I would live another day. I got to my feet, dizzy, blinded, I couldn’t see my window. I groped around the foggy gray air, ignoring the rules they’d taught me in Kindergarten about staying low. I found my dresser, a glass full of water crashing to the floor in my blind attempts of search. I had to be close to the window, if I was correct, the window would be a foot to the right.

It was. The fire made a cracking noise as part of my floor collapsed, the rest beginning to catch on fire without hesitation. I hurried to unlock my windows, throwing my fingers wildly over the clasps, trying to control myself, fearing lack of control would lead to an ignorant demise. The window was open, and I stuck my head out first, taking a gasp of the fresh air it brought. The air crashed into my heart, causing it to quicken for just a moment, and then begin to slow. I put one leg out of my window, onto the metal stairway that had luckily been put there as a fire escape. The next leg, then my torso, both arms, and my head, as the fire ceased to reach me.

Panic overwhelmed me, what was I supposed to do? My parents might have been dead, and I hadn’t even attempted to save them. I had just lost my home, I realized as I walked quickly down the steps to the streets of Baltimore, escaping before an explosion could occur. My head was spinning, as I contemplated whether or not I had made the right decision. Maybe they were fine, maybe they were getting help, maybe it would be okay… But even if they were alive, they were jobless. The economy had stolen jobs from them, leaving us in a dainty apartment with torn walls and ratty clothes to fill our closets. We ate fish and beans everyday, and could barely afford to live on even that. We had no money to buy a new home. Either way, dead or alive, we were homeless, we had nothing but each other.

My knees quivered beneath me as my feet hit the flat concrete, my body soon following the action. The side of my face pressed carelessly against the filthy sidewalk, the smell of the smoke traveling down to me. I couldn’t bear the situation, I didn’t care what anyone thought of my breakdown. My parents were probably dead. They wouldn’t have left me here, they would have helped me, they would have stayed behind, just like I should have done for them. I was too late, and I was hoping by some miracle my home would explode, throwing bricks and debris everywhere, drowning me in the flame I thought I needed to escape, bringing me to my parents. Bringing death to my door step, so I could find the light.

Someone’s cool hands were around me, gently pulling me against a soft body with unmatched strength and ease. I had already begun to loose consciousness, my breathing sporadic as I gave in to the smoke that was coming down now, the fire traveling as if it had heard my silent desire for death. “Mom?” I moaned with a scraggly voice, but the response I got denied my guess. It was a man’s voice, and I didn’t even have to ask who it was, because I was certain it was not my father. I was numb, trembling but I almost couldn’t tell, as the street lights of the city began to fade to black, and the sounds of an ambulance in the background seemed more distant, even as it came closer. The man spoke to me in words I did not comprehend, he gave me a little shake, but it was no use. I was in the darkness now; I was going to find the light.

The sun has gone from the shining skies,
Bye, baby, bye.
The dandelions have closed their eyes,
Bye, baby, bye.
The stars are lighting there lamps to see,
If Babes and squirrels and birds and bees,
Are sound asleep as they should be,
Bye, Baby, Bye.

The sweet familiar voice rang through the silence, the light was so close. Smiling, I walked toward it, ready to face my end, ready to complete the short, unsatisfying life I had faced for seventeen years. I could hear my mother singing the lullaby she had sung to me as a child, the lullaby that had first shown me love, that had brought me closer to my mother. It was only right that the same words were the words that would be my last thoughts in life, that I could hear her sing that in my life, just one last time. I could feel my bare skin, against the pure air as I continued to walk, but the light seemed to get farther away. What was happening? Why? Her voice was fading, becoming softer, quieter, hard to hear even in the silence.

In yellow jackets, the bees sleep tight,
And cuddle close through the chilly night.
My baby’s snug in her gown of white,
Bye, baby, bye.

There were voices, and I froze in my position. Yelling at me in jumbled words, ruining my paradise. “Shut up!” I yelled, but nothing came out. “Let me rest!” I continued, but still nothing came from my throat. I couldn’t hear my mother’s voice anymore, tears coming to my eyes. “Mom!” I shrieked, “Mom, come back!”

Bye, baby, bye.

The words of the melody echoed quietly over the voices. “NO! Mom this isn’t the end! Come back! You cannot leave me!” I tried to cry out, but my voice was still silent. The light was too far now, I began to run, but it was so far. I ran faster, harder, fighting. I was getting nowhere, my feet were moving but I didn’t budge from my distance from the light. The voices were getting increasingly louder, but I couldn’t mutter a word still. I wouldn’t give up, I couldn’t. My chest was burning, my eyes were burning with tears, my legs were shaking beneath me, and I couldn’t breathe. But that was the point. I wanted to be dead. There was a pain I could feel jolting through my whole body, making me collapse within the darkness. The light was so far, and the voices were getting increasingly clearer, louder, more obnoxious.

“Breathe..” I could hear, the voice was relaxed and focused, a man’s deep voice. Another jolt of pain, my whole body convulsed. My heart was beating, I could hear it faintly, and I tried to scream again. Someone was saving me, someone wanted me to live, but who? What if it was my mother? What if they had found me, and taken me to the hospital? But, what if it wasn’t her, what if I was being saved by some misfortune on my part, for some stupid man’s desire to save a life. I searched through the voices for hers, but found nothing. They were clearer, but the words were much to difficult to make out.

Another painful jolt, the light was gone, replaced with something else. A different light, filled with shapes and colors. Blurry, but I could see that these were people I was staring at. My eyes were open, I could tell, my heart was beginning to beat, and I could hear the men and women around me rejoicing in the victory of bringing me to life. Air clogged my throat, gushing in as my heart started to work again, paining my thoughts as I searched for my mother or father in the various shapes I could see.

My vision began to clear up, and my heart began to stop working so hard to breathe. I had only one hope remaining, that I had been brought back for my parents, not for the fact that they didn‘t want another statistic of death in this City. I could finally see enough to be able to differentiate from the shapes, and I began observing every detail my eyes could come up with to see if they were there. I couldn’t speak, though I tried, and nothing came out. I didn’t hear there voices. Wouldn’t they be happy? Like you saw in the movies? Oh, Autumn, you’re awake! Thank god! I heard nothing of the sort. Were they here at all?

Finally, it seemed like hours had passed, and maybe they had, but my eyes had found a sanctuary of normalcy. I looked around, panicked, to find that they weren’t there. My heart was in my throat, nausea taking over my system. “NO!” I tried to scream, but it came out as a harsh breath. People turned to face me, questioning my reaction. Asking me questions in such speed my brain still could not comprehend, their words jumbling as they went in one ear and out the other. My parents were dead. I had nothing, the only thing I had wanted was death, and these people had taken my only wish, my only desire.

I would have nothing to return to. My friends had all abandoned me the year before, trying to involve me in drugs and violence, and when I refused, I had traded my good health for having absolutely no one but family. I was rejected at school for my shyness, and my intelligence. I had always been the good girl, following the rules, respecting everyone, never getting into fights… I wasn’t accepted. My education and my parents were all I had, and they went hand in hand. My education wouldn’t be possible without the emotional support from my parents to get me through a school day. I had no clothes but what was on my back, now. Which was tattered and stained with the stingy smell of smoke, no home to return to, and all of my school supplies and food had been burned along with the most important people in my life. I had nothing.

Tears were falling onto my cheeks in an alarming rate, probably washing away whatever ash or dirt had found it’s way onto my ivory skin. The people continued to speak to me, but I just threw my arms up and my legs over the bed I had been placed on. I was in the emergency room, alone with dying people who deserved to be saved. I didn’t deserve to be saved, they had wasted there time, as well as mine. I ran out of the hospital as quickly as I could, the blur of the people and the shaking of my limbs distracting my ability to leave as fast as I would have wished. The doctors called for me, but I didn’t stop, I wouldn’t stop.

My body was burning, I was too weak to be running, and the thought only made me run faster. I ran through the streets, in between all of the cars at the stoplights, trying to escape from reality, until I realized running would get me no where. I slumped against a brick wall, looking up at the street lights above my head. Cameras were on every corner, and at this intersection in particular, the corner of the camera boasted a blue light. Perfect, that’s what it was. Baltimore’s streets that held a blue light at the top meant it was a highly dangerous area. If I was lucky, they had calculated correctly, and I would be attacked at this very moment.

I sat for a very long time on the side of the street, and no danger came to me. I watched the cars race through the intersection as they avoided the danger that should have been here, but it wasn’t. My luck was dreadful, I wanted to die and I couldn’t even if I tried. The people who wanted to live, were probably dying. It was unfair.

I needed my mom. I needed her to sit with me and tell me it was to dangerous for me to be sitting here, alone. I wanted her to tell me one of the many stories of her childhood that would convince me she was right, I wanted her to just be here, with me, that’s all I wanted. And I wasn’t going to get it. She was dead, and it was my fault, all my fault. A numbness overwhelmed me, my body trembling against the concrete and bricks as my eyes slowly closed themselves. The darkness returned, but no light, no heaven awaiting me. I wouldn’t have even minded hell, as long as my parents had been there with me. But they would never deserve such pandemonium.

Time moved slowly, and nothing filled the void my heart was dreadfully remaining in. I tried to think of something to live for, my future, but I had no future. I had no friends, no family. Even if I wanted to do something decent with my future in my parents memory, I had no where to begin. Sighing, I rolled over on the concrete, my face smashed against the cold ground. It smelled of cigarettes, but I wasn’t bothered. I laid there for quite some time, unable to sleep, knowing people would watch me, weak, abandoned, hopeless, on the sidewalks of one of the most dangerous cities in the United States of America.

A few people had kicked my leg every now and again, trying to see if I was alive. I grumbled every time to dismiss there accusations, wishing they had been right. My nails dug into the concrete, brittle, worthless. My heartbeat haunted me, as I searched my mind for my mother’s voice. I had already forgotten her voice. My mind had already dismissed the memory of the lullaby she had sung me just hours before. The blood in my veins began to boil with hysteria, I couldn’t concentrate, all I could think of was death, and how badly I wanted it.

A silky voice drifted into my ears, sending a quick shudder trickling down my spine. “Autumn, please get up.” The voice was familiar, but I couldn’t think of who it was. My head shot up to look to see who it was, but the side walk was completely free of anyone but me. I was alone. Maybe the hysteria had truly gotten to me, maybe my conscious had it’s own voice and it was finally speaking. Shaking my head, I got to my feet as I had been told, waiting to see if the voice would return.

Instead, I felt myself drift off of the ground, my vision suddenly blurred, my hearing dissipated, and I couldn’t scream. Everything was gone, there was a sweet scent engulfing me, and the voice was drowning my thoughts, and I could feel the arms I’d felt the night before, clutching me protectively. “Shhh,” The voice cooed, and I felt myself lose all sense of reality to the darkness.

The bleak emptiness I remained in was uncomfortable, reminding me of the barren lack of anything my life had become. I had nothing but a cursed beating heart and a seemingly dreadful inability to die. Dreams and nightmares filled the vacuum of my unconscious thoughts I probably wouldn’t recall in the morning. Dreams of jumping off of a building, landing on a cushioning blanket of death’s dark cloak. Drowning in the silky waters of the ocean, the waves ripping me around gracefully. But my dreams of death were illusion, the nightmares had been my reality. The fire, my stupid escape, my selfish act of leaving my parents to die in the fire.

My brain couldn’t handle the pressure of so many thoughts, falling into the cavity that was the darkness my mind had created.

Rain clashed against my skin violently, trying to rip through my clothes that were drenched with the rain and my own salty tears. Darkness shrouded me in a cape that swallowed me whole, but I knew I was alive, and I was awake. I felt around for something, but all I felt was broken glass and soaked blades of grass, cutting my fingers gently. Flinching, I began to realize I was in unfamiliar territory. This wasn’t Baltimore, that was for sure. Baltimore was filled with city lights, the smell of gas, and the sound of ambulances in the distance. It was far too quiet here, I couldn’t hear anything but the rain against the ground. I couldn’t see anything at all, just the emptiness of the darkness, which I had thought could only exist in my mind.

The moon hadn’t come up tonight, making it even harder to see. There were trees around me, I could tell by the sound of the rain on the leaves, but they weren’t close. I was leaned against something, which felt concrete, which meant it was some sort of building. Shivering, I pulled my legs up to my chest, wondering if this is what I had wished for.

Abandoned in an unknown area, in the dark, alone and cold. I had been hoping and wishing that death would come to me, and was this it? Had someone brought me here? Maybe someone had found me at that street light, and was taking me somewhere so that he could kill me. The thought made my body shake in anxiety, my mind beginning to rethink my original moronic wishes. I didn’t want to die. Not like this. What if he had tortured me? What if his intentions weren’t to kill me? But to keep me alive for his own personal toy? What then? More suffering, a more dreadful life to live, was the consequence of my witless mind.

I searched around the ground with a trembling hand, feeling around until I found a piece of glass. I gripped it in my palm until I felt it penetrate my skin, leaning my head against the building as to rain washed away the blood and my grip tightened. A flash of light came from the distance, and my body reacted in panic, convulsing aggressively, digging the glass deeper into my palm. Someone was walking towards me, they obviously knew precisely where I was, because they had brought me here. The light was steady, coming closer slowly, making the moments even more dreary as I pressed my nose in-between my knees, squeezing and constricting my face against my bones. I didn’t want to watch the light come closer, I didn’t want to expect it.

But I knew it was coming, I knew this man was coming, and there was nothing that could avert the horrific thought from my mind. There was nothing worse then the unknown, and at the moment, his actions were amongst the unknown, my mind pulling terrible ideas as if I were the psychopath in the situation. My eyes shut tightly, the cold consuming me, numbing my skin but never numbing my mind from the crisis I was facing. I was ripping myself apart internally, picking at every ignorant thing I had done. What if I had never woken up in the fire? I wouldn’t have to face this. I wouldn’t have to be alone, or be here, sitting in the rain, waiting for a doom that might not have been so certain as the fire.

I tried to remember the burning that ignited my body when the fire began, warming my skin, but not my mental state. I remembered the panic, the cold that consumed me as I thought of my parents. Now, I was bitterly cold to my core. My body was cold, I was numb from the cold that had consumed my mind, and it was much worse then it had been.

Someone’s hand was on my face, making the shaking of my fragile body increase, feeling the contrast of his warmth to my skin, which was lacking blood from the stress I was putting on myself. I didn’t budge, I continued to squeeze my nose with my knees, staying sturdy in my position. I could feel myself beginning to sob, but I tried to keep quiet. I couldn’t contain my body from palpitating, which would be a give away that I was awake. Not to mention the stiffness of my body, and of course, I had ruined my attempt at silence with a sobbing gasp of air.

I could hear him breathing, his hand still on my cheek, but I could feel his other hand going underneath my chin, to my neck. For a moment I was expecting his hands to wrap around my throat, stealing my breath, killing me like I thought I had wanted. But he didn’t. His fingers found my jaw, tracing the bone to my chin bone, giving a gentle push upwards, trying to get me to look at him. I wasn’t sure what to do, why was he being so friendly? Was I making a mistake in thinking he would kill me? I had too many questions racing through my head, questions that might have never been answered. The thought made me quite uneasy, and my stomach began to churn.

His touch was gentle, and I finally gave in after another sob escaped from between my lips. I lifted my head, releasing my face from the pressure I’d been forcing on it. He didn’t shine the light in my face, but he had it at an angle so that he could see me. And I could see the ground around me. The rain created puddles in the grass, collecting dirt in a muddy mess. There was bundle of dead plants that had fallen off the side of the building, joined by glass that had been pushed out of a window. I couldn’t see him very well, but I was certain he was looking at me.

“Please don’t cry,” He said, his voice was deep, and at once I remembered the sound. He had been with me twice before, after the fire, and before this madness had begun. He sounded sincere, almost worried, and I was in shock. My teeth chattered as I refused to answer, dazed in confusion at my current situation. This man was caring for me? What was this, some sort of trick?

I heard his shoes crunch as he altered his position, kneeling, I could tell by the movement of the light, which flickered onto my eyes for a moment, temporarily blinding me. “Are you scared of me?” He asked, his pale hand reaching for mine. I didn’t fight it, as his long fingers wrapped around mine, warming my skin. My eyelids fluttered for a moment before I pulled myself together, searching through the darkness, wishing I could see who this man was, and what his intentions were. I inhaled sharply, forgetting to breathe, ignoring his question completely. Was I supposed to be scared of him?

I felt his grip tighten on my hand, just slightly, remaining gentle. “Please, just say something, at least. I won’t hurt you, I can promise you that.” He continued, his voice reassuring, but was he masking his words? Was he trying to fool me into believing I would be safe, and then torture me like I had thought? Could anyone honestly have been that psychotic, though? To be able to have the power to control there actions, to the littlest of details, to make me fall for some silly charade? I wasn’t sure what to believe, and the thoughts almost made me forget I was sitting there sobbing, shaking, and freezing out in the dark with a stranger. What would my mother have thought?

The thought of her made me begin to sob even harder.

The sight of me crying made him touch my cheek with his other hand, caressing it. My eyes shut, and I took a deep breath in. Control, something I needed to learn but obviously couldn’t possess. “Autumn…” He said quietly, breathing my name to keep my attention on him. He knew my name, and yet I had never seen this man before in my life. I retracted from his hold on my hand, but he just reached further, but I yanked my arm and placed it in my lap. Forgetting why I had been so upset, I stopped to the sobbing to speak.

“Who are you? How do you know my name?” My voice was cracking under the pressure, an it wavered between tones due to my continuous sob that didn’t want to end. I pressed my lips together, trying to regulate my breathing through my nose. I was dizzy, and although I could barely see anything, I could tell my vision was spiraling. The ground was spinning in circles, as if my mind was trying to never let me know who this man was. I knew he had been with me before. Not once had I seen his face. Not once had I heard his own name, or anything about himself. I could see everything turning into a white nothingness, my ears beginning to ring. I was going to faint. And he would make his escape while I was unconscious, again.

I fought it, holding my head up with my hands, realizing the glass was still in one of my hands. It poked at my forehead before I realized, making a tiny cut. I couldn’t react, I felt myself slipping away. But I couldn’t, I needed to know who this man was, what his purpose was. I was beginning to sweat, fighting the need to lose it, to lose my chance. I wanted an answer, that’s all I needed, a simple answer. My eyelids drooped, and I sucked in air again. “Just tell me,” I demanded with a breathe, my voice weary with the need to vomit and my weakening body, that was fighting my need for the truth.

“Cain, my name is Cain.” He finally said, his hands moving mine off of my face, supporting my head for me. The need to faint didn’t leave, but it was beginning to stop feeling so dreadful. The rain was the least of my worries, but it was one of his, apparently. His thumb traced underneath my eye, smoothing away the tears.

“Cain what?” I breathed again, weak, “Where are y-you from? What do you w-want?” I heard him sigh, my ears still ringing, but the quietness of the area was a different experience from Baltimore, easing my senses.

“I’ll tell you more in the morning, you need rest. You’re becoming ill, I should’ve taken you home earlier, instead of leaving you out here. I apologize sincerely for that, but I’ll get you shelter. Nice warm blankets, clean clothes, even a television if you enjoy that sort of noise to help you sleep. You can have whatever you wish, but wait until the morning to bombard me with your questions. You’ll just have to trust me,” He said, his arms beginning to wrap around my body, lifting me in his arms again. I felt the warmth of his body, which somehow was warm even in the cold rain, and he walked me quite some distance without a word. I didn’t say anything, I suppose I’d have to trust him. He was taking me home, he was taking me somewhere protective and comfortable and suitable. He would give me a place to stay, food to eat, something to do. I wasn’t going to pass that up, even if I thought I was dealing with some skilled psychopath who only wanted my death. It was better then guaranteed death wherever he had left me hours before.

The flash light pointed it’s light at a large red truck in the distance, obviously old. The back looked big enough to camp in, with 6 or so windows on each side, and a large one reflecting the light in the back. The paint was a little faded, but it added to the vintage appearance. The mirrors on the side were on the sides of the windows, long and unlike the modern day car. It was quite large in size, and looked like it would win a fight between the truck and a black bear any day.

He carried me to the car, and set me in a seat, and buckled me in since I was obviously struggling with the fact that I was about to faint just moments before. I felt much better, somehow, I could see, and hear, just fine. But the need to vomit hadn’t left. Maybe that had been the rains fault.

The seats of the truck were rough and covered in an old fabric, but I didn’t mind. It was a long seat, fit for 3 people my size, and he sat next to me, in the driver’s seat in front of the large, metal wheel. The car was obviously very old, and it was refreshing. You didn’t see things like this in Baltimore.

My head was beginning to droop when he started the car, the engine purring as if it were brand new. He kept the radio quiet, classic rock music in the speakers. Before he put the car in motion, he picked up a blanket from the floor of his truck, that felt quite warm and dry as he tucked it around my shivering body. I felt his hot breath against my neck, before he turned to begin driving out of the area. I didn’t even care to explore where we were, what streets we were on, what building I had been stranded at, or anything. Exhaustion from my anxiety and stress had taken it’s hold on my body, and as my neck lost grip of my head, I found comfort in the crook of his neck.

My dreams that night were plagued with thoughts of him, the sweetest dreams I had ever remembered.

Sun shone through the windows, the light falling gracefully on the large blanket wrapped around my body. I yawned, pleasantly surprised to be in a warm bed, even more surprised to hear Saturday Morning Cartoons lightly playing on the television across the room. Rolling over, I nuzzled my nose into the pillow, the clean scent making the moment more luxurious then before. This wasn’t home, but it was much better. The bed was soft, any pain I had experienced the night before had vanished into the mattress, and it was warm, heating my veins until I was comfortably toasty. My home had a hard bed, a mildew smell that stained the entire vicinity, quite a few bug and vermin problems, and I didn’t have a television. This was an extreme upgrade, and I began to soak it in.

But I didn’t wallow in the glamour of this little wood cabin, I sat up and looked around, ruffling my hair. Courage the Cowardly Dog was on, and I smiled lightly. Probably the creepiest show for kids on television, but it could have been enjoyable. I remembered having nightmares about one episode in particular when I was young, and I immediately grimaced at the memory and turn away. Throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I dropped them to the floor, resting my toes on the wooden floor. My arms reached towards the ceiling, loosening my muscles that had tensed even in the relaxation of this place, keeping me warm as I slept.

I took a deep breath in, gazing around the little room. There was a television, the large bed with the beautiful white blankets, a recliner, and the door to another room. I walked around, touching the wood siding, the smooth, flawlessness of the wood was surely worth admiring. I hadn’t ever been in such a fresh place, with fresh air, trees abundantly spread, and homes made just out of wood. It was different, wonderfully different, and I wondered if I would ever want to leave. I knew my own answer, but I wasn’t sure my decision was plausible. After all, I was staying with a man I didn’t know, except that his name was Cain. I’d never even seen his face.

Suddenly I felt like I should see him, I deserved that much. He wasn’t in the room with me, but he had to have been close. My heart twanged with desire to see him, after a night of dreaming of what he could possibly look like. Was he handsome? Or was he cursed with a lack of beauty? You could never tell by just the voice, and I didn’t mind if he was handsome or not, I just needed to see him for the first time. To take in the man that was either saving me from my suicidal desires, or bringing the desire to reality.

I walked towards the door, which led me too another open room with a kitchen and two doors. One, I could see led outside. The other, I wasn’t sure. I went to the other door, opening it to find a quaint little bathroom. I shut the door behind me, looking at myself in the mirror. I was an absolute wreck, my brunette hair was matted and my face was dirty, my eyes puffy from crying and my whole body stained with dirt despite the fact that I had been in the rain for quite some time. I was in a different outfit, a large shirt and a pair of green short shorts. I didn’t remember changing.

Had he dressed me? Without my permission? I could feel the blood run to my face, turning my cheeks a bright red. I wasn’t sure if I was embarrassed or mad, but I sure as hell wasn’t happy about it. How else would I have changed? What, did I have some uncanny ability to sleep walk and dress at the same time? Of course not, that would have been absurd, and it was only probable that he had dressed me. That he had stripped me of my clothes and replaced them. I didn’t care about his intentions, but that was strictly unacceptable. I stormed out of the bathroom.

I went to the door quickly, going outside to see a lake shining in the sun. It was blinding, but I kept walking. Dead leaves littered the ground, bringing it the beauty of Autumn, and I suddenly realized where my parents had come up with my name. It was absolutely beautiful, I wouldn’t have known that from staying in the city. And now I understood, and it made me stop dead in my tracks to admire the glowing colors of the trees. But the limbo of my mind didn’t last long, I immediately remembered why I was outside, to confront Cain about what he had done.

Then I realized, I didn’t even have a clue what he looked like. I wouldn’t be able to see him, and I would have to embarrassingly yell out his name until I found the same voice I had grown oddly familiar with. Ignoring the consequence of shouting out to the world and making them aware of my frazzled physical appearance, I yelled once. “Cain!”

My voice echoed a little, the place empty, allowing my voice to bound off of the trees. A man on the dock in the water looked back, and my heart immediately dropped. It was him.

I walked towards him, swallowing hard as I tried to remember what I was here for. I wanted to scream at him for what he had done, for invading my sacred privacy, for doing it without asking. I was not here to look at how beautiful or not he was, but I had a feeling it might have come down to it. I was in front of him, and his voice answered, “You’re awake, you slept for quite some time.” I tried to furrow my eyebrows to look frustrated, but I couldn’t. I was marveling in how beautiful he actually was, I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen someone quite like him.

He had platinum blond hair, and it was somewhat long, but just long enough to fall into his face with an unmatched grace. His eyes were covered with thick, black eyelashes that reminded me of my own, but his eyes were different. They were silvery grey, but with specks of blue and green amongst them. His skin was flawless, and he had small indents in his cheeks that made him look just like a sculpture. He was almost as pale as I was, but a little darker skinned, but not by much at all. His jaw structure was gorgeous, probably sharp enough to cut right through me. He was wearing a loose white dress shirt, and black dress pants, his shoes beside him and his toes dipping in the water. He stared back at me, as if he was wondering why I’d been gawking at him for so long.

I finally pulled myself together, but I didn’t achieve the anger I had thought of releasing earlier. It was utterly impossible. “You undressed me,” I said blankly, still staring at his eyes, unable to look away. I was lost, trying to connect my thoughts but I couldn’t. I didn’t even bother continue or put force behind my voice, because I was positive I would start stuttering something awkward.

Cain laughed a small, soft laugh, looking out at the lake to break the gaze for me, obviously realizing my difficulties. “I’ll assure you I did not, I do have some manners, Autumn. You were half asleep when we got here, it was dark and I didn’t want you to sleep in soaked clothes. I told you to change, and I left the room at your babbling request. You probably don’t remember because you passed out from exhaustion a few moments later.” He was smiling, and I eyed him suspiciously,

“And how am I supposed to trust that that is the truth?”

“I never said you had to believe me,” He said quietly, a wide grin spreading across his face, pulling over his set of perfect, white teeth. I huffed, unsatisfied with the witty response, folding my arms over my chest. He seemed amused, because I could see him holding back a small laugh. “I’m sure your hungry, how do you like your eggs? I’ll cook you breakfast while you get a shower. That way you know I’m not peeking,” He said sincerely, but I found in the humor hidden in his tone.

I uncrossed my arms and turned my back on him, beginning to walk. “Scrambled. And yes, I’m absolutely ravished.” I said to him, making my way back to the cabin. I heard him chuckling in the distance, and tried to resist a smile. What had made him so alluring? It was like a magnet, it was so difficult to walk away, he was pulling me back without even trying, but I fought it, and hurried into the cabin. I was ready for a nice warm shower, to wash off all of my insecurities, to cleanse me of the dirt that connected me with the day I was refusing to think of.

When I reached the bathroom I realized that he had set it up for me, and I was too preoccupied to realize it the first time I’d approached the room. He had my make up laid out on the counter, a hair brush, and a change of clothes. I wasn’t sure how he’d managed to know what make up I used, considering it had all been burned in the-

My thoughts immediately ended. I shut the door and locked it behind me, starting the water and beginning to undress myself. Sighing, I tried to think of other things. And Cain’s face immediately filled my thoughts with ease, the perfection, the precision of his features. I stepped into the shower, the warm water hitting my body, as I wondered why I was here. What did Cain want? Why had he saved me numerous times? What did he want with me? I felt like I was repeating the same questions over and over in my head, because this was simply too good to be true. He was my handsome knight in shining armor, and I was the girl too preoccupied with silly suspicions to even let him in. Was it a mistake to not give in?

I ran shampoo vigorously through my hair, getting out the knots and engulfing me in a lavender scent. I sighed, rinsing my hair, and then running my fingers through it. The wet curtain of my hair hung on my back as I massaged soap over my limbs, rinsing off the dirt that was beginning to bother me. I washed off my face gently, before stopping and just letting the water hit my face. I sighed contently, just standing, enjoying the luxury of the cabin again, enjoying a home that I might have even dreamed of as a kid. I didn’t need a big mansion, I needed a little place, warm, fresh, and separate from the world. I found a pink razor on the side, picking it up and running it over my legs, stripping my legs of the stubby hair that had developed, distracted by the thought of how smooth Cain’s face looked. The skin on his cheeks was probably softer then my legs would ever become, and I almost became discouraged, but I didn’t stop, I shaved until the job was done. My mind fixated on my current, confusing situation.

I stepped out of the shower, hastily wrapping a towel around my cleansed body. The room was filled with steam from the hot water, but I didn’t mind at all. I dried off quickly, slipping into the clothes on the counter. Long jeans and a blue t-shirt that matched my eyes as I stared at myself in the mirror. I ignored most of the make up, but put a thin line of eyeliner on the top and bottom of my eyes. I never used mascara, and foundation wasn’t absolutely needed, my skin looked quite decent for what it had been through. I wrapped my hair in the towel and exited the bathroom with my head held high, the smell of eggs and bacon filling my body, igniting the hunger I had been ignoring for what might have been days.

Cain turned to face me, nodding as I took a silent seat at the table. He placed a white plate in front of me, loaded with scrambled eggs, three pieces of tempting bacon, and a piece of toast with jelly smeared on it. It was as if he knew precisely what I wanted, and he placed a glass of milk next to the plate, before sitting across from me. He hadn’t cooked any food for himself, which surprised me. He’d gone to all the work to prepare a meal for me, to shelter me, and he wasn’t even going to treat himself to anything? And where had he slept? I was in his bed, obviously. He hadn’t slept in the bed with me, had I removed him from his bed and caused him to sleep on the floor?

A twinge of guilt panged in my heart as I took a large bite of the eggs, my stomach beginning to noticeably rumble as my senses took realization to the food. I ate quickly, finishing the large pile of eggs in mere seconds it seemed, immediately turning to the bacon, which I also ate with great haste. I wasn’t worried about becoming sick from eating to quickly, I was sure my stomach would grip this food tight, since it had been empty for quite some time. I ate the toast last, which I practically devoured, but my hunger wasn’t satisfied. I didn’t complain.

“Aren’t you going to eat something?” I inquired, and he shook his head, his eyes focused on me. It made me nervous, but I tried not to let it show. I chewed on my lower lip, “You aren’t hungry?” I said, and he shook his head again.

“Not at all, don’t worry about me.” He replied politely, his lips forming a thin line, his hands dropping to rest in his lap.

“Why shouldn’t I? You’ve worried over me, I should be returning the favor.” I said, tilting my head to admire him as he smiled faintly.

“I’m not the one in danger, now am I?” He sighed, and I looked at him, my expression immediately dropping. I was in danger? Since when? I had immediately reverted back to thoughts of serial killers and torture, my hands beginning to shake as I reached up to touch my face. I thought I had a chance with him, I thought I was going to heal and get back to my life thanks to his care. I thought that maybe I could’ve had a future, and the man that had offered me that future had just taken it away.

Tears emerged in my eyes, fiercely beginning to drop on to the white plate as I looked at him. He immediately reacted, “I didn’t mean- Autumn, please stop crying. I didn’t mean it in the way you took it, I’m sorry. That was completely uncalled for.” He was saying, his chair making a low grumble as he pushed it back to come towards me. His hand touched my face, but I smacked it away.

“Get away from me,” I snarled through the tears, my hopes beginning to crash. “So this is your game, you make me believe you give a damn about me, and then you plan to kill me? Oh please share, how do you plan on killing me? I’m intrigued, tell me, Cain, how are you so good at this little charade? Is this fun to you? Do you like capturing suffering girls and tempting them so that you can watch them suffer again? You’re vile. So vile, get away from me, right now. I’m leaving.” I was quickly making my way to the door, but he stopped me, his hand gently on my shoulder.

“I’m not what’s going to cause you danger, Autumn.” He said sternly, turning me to face him. I could see in his face he wasn’t lying, but then again, I had fallen for his whole act already. There was no way he was being honest right now.

“I should’ve let myself burn, should’ve laid in bed and waited for death. It’s better then dealing with you, you psychopath. Let go of me, I’ll be leaving. Unless you want to go grab that butcher knife over there and slit my throat now. Feel free. I don’t care. Just make it quick.” I hissed, and his eyes began to glaze over with water, as if he were genuinely caring about my suicidal goodbyes. “No? To cowardly? Fine. I’ll be leaving then, thanks for the clothes.” I stormed out of the room, but he caught my shoulder again.

“Autumn, you can’t leave here. It’s the only safe place for you right now. They’re coming for you, and unless you stay with me, they’re going to kill you.” I could see the tears forming in his eyes, but he didn’t let them escape. “It’s my job to protect you, if they kill you, I can’t even tell you what will happen to me. But it isn’t me I’m concerned about, you’re the most important thing to me right now, you cannot leave. Please.” He was pleading with me, and the tears ran down my cheeks as I felt a chill down my spine. He’d convinced me again, to trust him, but I was so unsure if that was the right thing to do. If I could trust him.

But I had to. According to him, my life was in danger. He was the only thing to separate me from a dreadful death, and I had to believe in him. He had to be right. It made too much sense to dismiss what he had shared with me. What if the fire was planned? What if they had failed the first time, and they would try another way?

The Grim Reaper was searching for me, crawling through the shadows to breathe in my life, but Cain was my Angel. He was the angelic figure who would demand my life remained in my hands, who would protect my soul inside the barrier of my body. And if I died, his responsibility to be loyal to me would have been tarnished. And he would be punished, as I could see in his grey eyes, and it would be even more miserable then any method of murder “they” could kill me with.

The weariness in his eyes was enough to pull the force from under me, knocking my knees out to collapse my body to the floor. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, but within moments he had kneeled to embrace me, dismissing my apology. “Who’s coming for me?” I said into his neck, trying to restrain my tears as his fingers traced my spine.

"Your parents."